Every nauseating Valentine season, I am forced to retrospect the very concept of love and the authenticity of it.
Whatever 'love' I have experienced has always ended up in practically nothing. Even the journey was not worthwhile to say the least. I emotionally invest a lot and in the end all I feel is 'emotionally wasted'. It just enlightens me and makes me believe that men are that species of dogs that can never be trained :P
For example, when I say 'Don't call me', it implies that 'Call me till your fingers bleed', but the guy never gets it. Not every person can be pleased with roses, chocolates and money. Value addition is also a pre requisite. But a very few guys get it.
We know how expectation can be a bitch. What we don’t know is that expectation is not always a result of our own vivid imagination. Sometimes people create room for expectation in your life by overdoing things. Initially it is always a fairy-tale simply because you are delusional, blinded by this phenomenon called love. Eventually the expectation feeds on you and becomes a monstrous entity that gets the better of you. All you can think of is how things are not the way they are supposed to be. Heartache, misery, frustration and the whole fraternity befriend you.
Maybe good people make bad romances. Maybe fairy-tales don’t exist. Maybe ‘happily ever after’ is an illusion after all. At this point, it dawns on you that the minute you create dependency on a person, everything else goes for a toss.
Guys show you gestures only when you’re a conquest they are pursuing. Once the purpose is solved, it’s just a static pond of nothingness that you deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes, you don’t even deserve a phone call in the whole day. Such callousness is combated by self doubt and self pity and self loathing and you still know that you love your ‘Bloody Valentine’.
Nothing lasts forever and love is no exception to that. Two people meet and like each other. Sometimes priorities change, sometimes people. The key lies in moving beyond all of this and finding happiness with yourself and within yourself. Lingering in the past just adds more crap to your plate. Maybe in the past you were happy but now you’re not and there’s a very good reason for that which you fail to see. It is important to get out of things that pull you down and do not add value to your way of living.
That is what I take back from my experiences with the hope of finding a better tomorrow. As they say, if it's not good, it's not the end.
And for what it's worth, Happy Valentine's Day :)
Mere ramblings, no apologies.
