“A Twin Flame (also Twin Soul) is a spiritual (New Age) concept describing a special soul connection between two halves of the same soul. According to the mythology of Twin Flames, in the beginning of time we were created as a perfect soul, that was split into two soul halves, one male, one female, that would then be cast upon Earth to be forever looking for one-another. They would reincarnate over lifetimes with this longing for each other, and once they finally meet, they would reunite and be blissfully in love and then leave this physical plane as one whole individual.” - Wikipedia
I believe in the concept of twin soul and for me marriage would mean marrying that one person who gets me, gets my jokes, gets my cynicism, intimidates me, completes my sentences and most importantly accepts my flab !!
So when the aunties and uncles search for a candidate within the same community and caste, the concept of twin soul goes for a toss and the end result is a business arrangement with maximum risk mitigation benefiting both the parties involved . A typical girl family perspective would be :
1. NRI is a delectable entity but Indians with a 6 figure salary would also suffice.
2. The guy should have a house in a gated community and a sedan.
3. Good family. (The ‘good’ here is subject to discretion)
A typical guy family perspective would be :
1. Fair-skinned beauty, the skinnier the better. (But we Odias prefer the non skinny versions)
2. Should have a job to share the guy’s expenses. But in some cases, females are required to quit.
3. Good character. No alcohol. No weed. (If your profile is in any matrimonial site, please remove your pub pictures ASAP, this is India, you cannot be the pub going loose woman !!)
So what we do is narrow down our options to a limited strata of the society when actually the world should be our oyster.
When you are in that tricky age of 24-25 and you are a female, marriage suddenly becomes more of a compliance than a choice. You should ideally have a candidate to get married to for your sake or else the family intervention will hit you just below the belt :P If for some reason or the other, you fail to find your ‘soulmate’, people around you will think it’s their moral duty to hunt down that special someone for you. Nobody’s interested to know if you’re interested for such a commitment or not. People around you start getting married and having kids, so even you should bite the bait. And so, owing to the circumstances around us, one fine day, we all settle. And most of us settle with any feasible option that comes our way. We settle because we’re scared. Scared of being alone, which is why that quest for mad, passionate, extraordinary love dies a martyr’s death.
The very sound of arranged marriage is thus creepy. Unless your arranged marriage guy gifts you a destination wedding with a Sabyasachi outfit and The Wedding Planners and Tarun Chawla, I am going to keep thinking it’s weird and illogical. Arranging a marriage typically means seeing what you get, interacting with a few hand picked and maybe hen pecked candidates, narrowing down to a lucky few, talking for a few months or worse days and finally giving in with prospects of hope, excitement and expectations.
Nobody will ever divulge what happens after the happily married part cuz in the Facebook era, we all feel obligated to act happy in our profiles (‘Best day ever’, ‘Best husband ever’ etc. ) and market ourselves in a certain way. What actually happens to you is your destiny. Thou shalt get screwed if that is your destiny.
I don’t have the statistics to claim what is better, love marriage or arranged marriage but all the candyfloss movies that I have seen makes me believe that liking > dating > loving > marrying sounds more natural to me.
But then sometimes we have to bend backwards for the greater good.
Mere Ramblings, No Apologies :)
Your views have been incredibly depicted, Nishita. Well done !!!..May you never "bend backwards for the greater good"..May your love never die a "matyr's death". May you be a trend setter of our generation and eventually be blessed with your twin soul :).
You should ideally have a candidate to get married to for your sake or else the family intervention will hit you just below the belt :P *Maha humourous*
We settle because we’re scared. *Putting untold emotions to words*
Devi hahaha. Even I hope the same. *Fingers crossed*
Anwesa True that :)
and yet again Im amazed about at our similar wavelength and frequency thingy :P
it was only yesterday that I was sharing the ditto views abt Marriage with a friend :D
I love your writings *muahsssss*
and yet again Im amazed about at our similar wavelength and frequency thingy :P
it was only yesterday that I was sharing the ditto views abt Marriage with a friend :D
I love your writings *muahsssss*
and I was sharing the ditto views abt marriage with a friend yesterday!
again amazed at similar wavelength, frequency part :O
I love your writings! *mu-aahhh*
I am sharing this with my folks rightaway!! Good gyaaan!!! ;)
Sometimes all sensibilities and reason go up in smoke, you find the one person you wanna be with but it ends in a disaster and that leaves you unwilling to bend backwards and also unable to live your dream.
Then all u can hope is that your dreams turn real again some new day with maybe the same person or some one new.
And then wait.................
"You will go on and meet someone else and I'll be just a chapter in your tale, but for me, you were, you are , and you always will be, the whole story."
As truly said by you, Nishita. We just need that one person who accepts us truly the way we are.. but we always ignore such people when they are around us and we keep looking on for the other person who is perfect
In India we really don't have Love marriage as neither of the twin soul want to sacrifice or go beyond the obvious to unite into one. There are only two types of marriage in India "Love Made Arrange" and "Arrange Marriage".
the last 2 lines of the ramblings... just awesome...
It always takes a flame to lit another flame
Twin flame relationship is one such esoteric concept that people usually don't have grip on.Everyone is not blessed with a twin flame to begin with, but if you happen to belong to that sacred clique, it solely is your responsibility to get across to him/her. Easier said that done, it takes purity of heart and soul and an uncompromising attitude towards relationships.It requires courage to stay single or to get out of clumsy unfulfilling relationship that you know is not going to get you anywhere and wait up. But at the end, it's totally worth the wait. Trust me on this one.
Hahahaha Tarun Chawla in any form is acceptable as long as he makes me look beautiful :P And I am responsible for my happiness so I shall sail through irrespective of whoever end up with !!
Thank you for the kind words Tarun. Appreciate it :)
@Anonymous Some profound lines there and totally true. Thanks for reading :)
@Dreamer Yeah life can be a bitch and we all have our fair share of devils to deal with.
@Suvra Do that :P
@Abhradita Is YoBro a pseudo name of yours or something ? :S Thanks for reading. You might be my twin soul then. Who knows :P
@Sukesh Sorry state of affairs in our lives. Time time ki baat hai Sir.
Very nicely said n in addition to that there's a concept of emotional blackmail as well from the parents side.
I do understand that being a girl, you tend to view this as a girl thing but I've found one such article which totally resonates your thoughts and hope it interests you. And as always, really well-written! :)
http://japleenpasricha.wordpress.com/2013/09/09/marriages-in-india-a-social-obligation/
Thanks for dropping by dear Anonymous. Japleen's blog is way too good. Thanks for sharing :)
Being alone is never a problem, unless you don't want to on some level.
Interesting take on an eternal problem.
"No apologies" : Damn straight :D
Nice satire on arranged marriages. Probably every Indian has been the constant target of these Aunties, me included. What people don't understand is they are kinda adjusting with their partner in most arranged marriages. which is ideally wrong.
Coincidentally I have also one blog and have written a piece on arranged marriages too. Here's the link- http://pratik-openbuk.blogspot.in/2010/10/satire-on-arranged-marriages.html
- @mohapatrapratik
Hmm...I wonder why Suzanne Khan and Hritik Roshan ended in a divorce, they did the sequence 'right' !! - Ubiquitous